You are a spiritual being. You are a physical being as well. Navigating how we handle our flesh, in response to the Gospel message and life of Christ that has been deposited into our hearts, into our very souls, needs to be something we are pursuing with care, intention and wisdom. I want to share some insights from God’s Word regarding God’s design for sex.
Genesis 1:26-28-26 Then God said, “Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the wild animals,[a] and over all the creatures that move along the ground.” 27 So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. 28 God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number…
God Created Sex. God is pro-sex. His very first words to Adam and Eve told them to express themselves sexually with each other.
God gifted Adam and Eve with a way to grow together and to be partners with God in the creation of life. That way was through having sex. Procreation would come through sexual intimacy.
It was also a way that Adam and Eve could know each other fully. It was a way of knowing each other that would be unique to their relationship. It was an exclusive way of relating one with the other. Sex was created by God as a gift to Adam and Eve.
God created Eve from Adam’s rib, and Genesis 2:22 says, God brought Eve to Adam. God gave Eve away to Adam. That’s a special moment in a wedding where it is still observed, the giving of the bride to the groom. God did that for Eve.
23 The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.” 24 That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh (have sex).
To know that someone is walking around with part of you on the inside of them would be an awesome and bonding experience. So, before Adam and Eve ever came together sexually, they shared a oneness, an intimacy because of the way Eve came to be.
From the one God made two, and in a very real sense, in marriage, God takes the two and makes one again, and that oneness, in part, is pictured in the act of sex.
Because Eve was created from Adam, and because the two become one, there is a deep connection that takes place when that oneness is expressed through sexual intimacy. That is why when relationships fail, when there has been sexual intimacy, it is a tearing of a person’s heart on a soul level.
Not only was sex created by God, not only does it produce intimacy, connection and oneness, but marriage is supposed to be a visual aid of the relationship between Christ and the Church. That’s Ephesians 5:31-32. Paul takes us back to the words in Genesis and then adds some words to the creation narrative: 31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”[c] 32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church.
The fact that a Christian marriage is representative of the relationship Jesus has with the church means it is holy. Marriage is not an arrangement. It’s not a social contract. It isn’t a cultural ceremony. It is a holy covenant. Through Christian marriage, we have an opportunity to reflect the ways Christ is committed to protecting, serving, sacrificing, and caring for His church. We are called “the Bride of Christ” for that reason. So, the way we conduct ourselves in marriage is serious business.
God intended for sex to be good, satisfying and to assist in providing a deep and lasting connection between a man and a woman inside the boundary and blessing of marriage. Other forms of sexual expression violate God’s design.
Read Proverbs 5:18-19. Read the Song of Solomon. You’ll see that God wants sex to be something enjoyed.
Not only is it to be satisfying and enjoyable, but it is designed by God to help a husband focus on the desires of his wife and to help a wife to focus on the desires of her husband. In that regard, sex isn’t a selfish act, but is an act of giving and expressing tenderness and respect.
I Corinthians 7:3-5-2 3 The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4 The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife.
A biblical look at sex helps us see there is a giving of oneself to the other. That’s not the way the world views sex. A worldly view of sex is about lust, greed, and selfishly getting something by using another person. When believers explore sex outside of marriage and sex before marriage, their view of sex is easily warped as it becomes shaped by the lusts of a worldly mindset. Biblical sex isn’t about getting pleasure, but it is about serving and loving your spouse first. Yes, it is meant to be pleasurable for both people, but the focus isn’t to be on self-gratification but on serving your spouse.
Paul’s words here in I Corinthians 7 were revolutionary for women who were considered to be the legal property of their husbands. Talk about a cultural shakeup. Through Paul’s instruction men were being taught to serve their spouses in the marital relationship. Nothing like this had ever been taught.
I Thessalonians 4:3-“It is God’s will…that you should avoid sexual immorality.” Anyone who wants to do God’s will can start here. Why is it God’s will that you should avoid sexual immorality? Because He wants you to be fulfilled. He wants you to enjoy life to the full. He wants you to have an abundant life. Your sexuality isn’t excluded from God’s blessing. If you are going to have sex, God wants it to be the best sex possible. That won’t be casual sex. It won’t be sex outside of marriage. God wants to either bless you to enjoy sex inside a one-man, one-woman marriage or He wants to bless you to be single and celibate, while still having a full life and a life of blessing. Married or single, God wants to bless you, but sexual immorality isn’t something He will bless.
God has laid out what He expects for our protection, so that we can live the most fulfilling and satisfying lives. If you are struggling in this area, I have good news for you. You don’t have to be dominated by lust. It is a false kind of intimacy. Lust is the worship of self. Lust is spiritual rebellion. Lust leads to a rejection of God as pleasure becomes ultimate. If your desire isn’t for holiness or to grow your relationship with God, but it is focused on satisfying your flesh in an unholy way, you are in spiritual trouble.
I want you to know God loves you, and there is hope for you. You can be delivered from strongholds, and you can be forgiven for any and every sin. You can have a reset in your life. Christ died to pay for the penalty of your sin and to break its power in your life. To receive the love and transformation God offers, you have to be honest.
Psalm 145:18 says, “The Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in TRUTH.”
Proverbs 28:13 says, “Whoever conceals their sins does not prosper, but the one who confesses and renounces them finds mercy.”
You must ask God for help. You must confess sin. You must ask to be forgiven, seek to repent, and ask to be changed. You must pursue a relationship with the Holy Spirit, and daily seek to be filled with the power of God. These are the starting points. You might need the help of a counselor or the prayers and accountability of Christian friends, but if you take no action, you will stay on a road that leads to destruction.
The earliest Christian confession is this: “Jesus is Lord.” If you are a Jesus-follower, then all of your life is under His Lordship. Christ wants to be your leader in everything—not just your spirituality, but your sexuality too. He redeemed both and expects to be Lord of both. Don’t keep traveling on a dead-end road. Turn around. Seek the Lord. Get help. You can recover God’s best for your life! That’s the truth about sex.
