You are a spiritual being. You are a physical being as well. Navigating how we handle our flesh, in response to the Gospel message and life of Christ that has been deposited into our hearts, into our very souls, needs to be something we are pursuing with care, intention and wisdom. Today’s topic, “The Truth About Sex” is long overdue for sure. Not that I’ve never addressed it, but it hasn’t been a Sunday morning focus as a stand-alone message. We are all going to make decisions regarding our sexuality and sexual expression, and since God’s Word has a lot to say about it, I need to make it my aim to make sure y’all are equipped to make God-honoring decisions about how you will use your body. While I know the topic could be a bit awkward in mixed company and even in the context of a worship service, I don’t know how else to get the word out in a comprehensive way. We’re gonna be real Word-centered this morning, friends. Get ready to write down some Scriptures or take lots of screenshots of the screens. The transcript of the message will also be available on our website this afternoon.
Genesis 1:26-28-26 Then God said, “Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the wild animals,[a] and over all the creatures that move along the ground.” 27 So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. 28 God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number…
God Created Sex. God is pro-sex. The first command that He gave to humankind, the first words God spoke to Adam and Eve were to be fruitful and increase in number. A sexual expression was tied to the command given to the first man and woman. There is only one way to be fruitful and multiply. It was to have sex. His very first words to Adam and Eve told them to express themselves sexually with each other.
One way that Adam and Eve would express their love for each other would be to come together in such an intimate act, an act of tenderness, an act of mutual submission, an act that requires gentleness and the deepest kind of trust, this particular way, would be through a sexual relationship.
God gifted Adam and Eve with a way to grow together and to be partners with God in the creation of life. That way was through having sex. Procreation would come through sexual intimacy.
It was also a way that Adam and Eve could know each other fully. It was a way of knowing each other that would be unique to their relationship. It was an exclusive way of relating one with the other. Sex was created by God as a gift to Adam and Eve. I cannot substantiate what I am about to say next, but I will support my thoughts on this next comment by sharing a second thought.
Adam and Eve were given a commandment that was easy to fulfill because it was tied to a natural God-given desire. I believe each desired the other in a sexual way. I believe innate in the creation of Adam was a desire that was fulfilled by Eve and vice versa. I don’t believe having sex was something they “had” to do, but it was also something they desired.
I John 5:3 tells us that God’s commands aren’t burdensome. In other words, God wasn’t going to ask them to engage with each other sexually if it was going to be difficult or if it was going to be an awful experience. Being the first two people ever created, it makes sense that God would have to explain why He created them the way He did and how they could fit together to accomplish His command. I believe they enjoyed being obedient to that command. I believe it was part of the way God wired them. I believe they craved physical intimacy as part of their makeup.
Why do I believe that? Because I also believe God has gifted some people with the desire to be single and celibate. I believe He has wired some people to enjoy deep friendships but has given some people a capacity to be ministry-oriented or people-oriented or career-oriented in such a way that they are not driven to fulfill a sexual desire, but they are content to pursue other desires which are also God-given. Both are good. Both are God-given. Both are holy.
But two people had to get things started, Ok? A man and a woman had to be the first so that there could be the rest of us. So, when Adam and Eve were created, they were created with a desire for sexual intimacy so that God’s command wouldn’t be burdensome, and so that the rest of humanity could exist.
Genesis 2:18-24: 18 The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”
19 Now the Lord God had formed out of the ground all the wild animals and all the birds in the sky. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name. 20 So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds in the sky and all the wild animals.
But for Adam[a] no suitable helper was found. 21 So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs[b] and then closed up the place with flesh. 22 Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib[c] he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.
I love that phrase, “He brought her to the man.” God gave Eve away to Adam. That’s a special moment in a wedding where it is still observed, the giving of the bride to the groom. God did that for Eve.
23 The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.” 24 That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh (have sex).
This is a delicate and personal surgery. I don’t know if any of you here have ever considered giving a kidney to someone, but it would be a very intimate and personal thing to do, right? You would feel super connected to that person. To know that someone is walking around with part of you on the inside of them would be an awesome and bonding experience. So, before Adam and Eve ever came together sexually, they shared a oneness, an intimacy because of the way Eve came to be.
God’s mandates for Adam couldn’t be accomplished alone, and when no helper suitable to accomplish God’s mandates for Adam was found, God performed the surgery that took part of Adam to form Eve. From the one God made two, and in a very real sense, in marriage, God takes the two and makes one again, and that oneness, in part, is pictured in the act of sex.
Because Eve was created from Adam, and because the two become one, there is a deep connection that takes place when that oneness is expressed through sexual intimacy. That is why when relationships fail, when there has been sexual intimacy, it is a tearing of a person’s heart on a soul level.
Not only was sex created by God, not only does it produce intimacy, connection and oneness, but marriage is supposed to be a visual aid of the relationship between Christ and the Church. That’s Ephesians 5:31-32. Paul takes us back to the words in Genesis and then adds some words to the creation narrative: 31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”[c] 32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church.
The fact that a Christian marriage is representative of the relationship Jesus has with the church means it is holy. Marriage is not an arrangement. It’s not a social contract. It isn’t a cultural ceremony. It is a holy covenant. Through Christian marriage, we have an opportunity to reflect the ways Christ is committed to protecting, serving, sacrificing, and caring for His church. We are called “the Bride of Christ” for that reason. So, the way we conduct ourselves in marriage is serious business.
Hebrews 13:4-“Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.”
For married people, keeping ourselves sexually pure in that we enjoy sex exclusively with the one person we are married to is part of the call to live out purity and holiness in general.
God intended for sex to be good, satisfying and to assist in providing a deep and lasting connection between a man and a woman inside the boundary and blessing of marriage. Other forms of sexual expression violate God’s design.
Read Proverbs 5:18-19. Read the Song of Solomon. You’ll see that God wants sex to be something enjoyed.
Not only is it to be satisfying and enjoyable, but it is designed by God to help a husband focus on the desires of his wife and to help a wife to focus on the desires of her husband. In that regard, sex isn’t a selfish act, but is an act of giving and expressing tenderness and respect.
I Corinthians 7:3-5-2 3 The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4 The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife.
A biblical look at sex helps us see there is a giving of oneself to the other. That’s not the way the world views sex. A worldly view of sex is about lust, greed, and selfishly getting something by using another person. When believers explore sex outside of marriage and sex before marriage, their view of sex is easily warped as it becomes shaped by the lusts of a worldly mindset. Biblical sex isn’t about getting pleasure, but it is about serving and loving your spouse first. Yes, it is meant to be pleasurable for both people, but the focus isn’t to be on self-gratification but on serving your spouse.
Paul’s words here in I Corinthians 7 were revolutionary for women who were considered to be the legal property of their husbands. Talk about a cultural shakeup. Through Paul’s instruction men were being taught to serve their spouses in the marital relationship. Nothing like this had ever been taught.
Paul was teaching that when two become one, they share everything. When a man and a woman become one, each person uses their gifts, abilities, resources, and yes, even their body to serve the other. He was saying that sex is a two-way street, and a two-way sharing of oneself.
Friends, sex outside of marriage is a bad idea, and it is sin. But what if you are in a committed relationship with someone? Friends, you aren’t really that committed until there is a ring on your finger. Until a couple is married, it is easy to experiment sexually and walk away. But what if you love someone? If you love someone, marry them or keep your dating relationship pure until you can marry.
Let me show you some Scriptures:
Exodus 20:14-“You shall not commit adultery.” Adultery is when you are married, but you have sex with someone other than your spouse. It is prohibited in Scripture.
Acts 15:29-“Abstain from…sexual immorality (fornication-NKJV).” Fornication is any kind of sex outside of marriage. It is prohibited in Scripture. The root word for immorality is “porneia.” That is the root word from which we get the word, “pornography.” So, pornography, fantasizing sexually, and sexting are included in sexual immorality.
I Corinthians 6:18-“Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body.” You can’t come away with any positive thoughts about sexual immorality when you read verses like this.
Ephesians 5:3-“But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people.” What this tells me is that there is a different sexual ethic for God’s people. We have been called out of the culture, and we have been relocated in a spiritual kingdom with commandments about how we are to use our bodies.
I Thessalonians 4:3-“It is God’s will…that you should avoid sexual immorality.” Anyone who wants to do God’s will can start here. Why is it God’s will that you should avoid sexual immorality? Because He wants you to be fulfilled. He wants you to enjoy life to the full. He wants you to have an abundant life. Your sexuality isn’t excluded from God’s blessing. If you are going to have sex, God wants it to be the best sex possible. That won’t be casual sex. It won’t be sex outside of marriage. God wants to either bless you to enjoy sex inside a one-man, one-woman marriage or He wants to bless you to be single and celibate, while still having a full life and a life of blessing. Married or single, God wants to bless you, but sexual immorality isn’t something He will bless.
God has laid out what He expects for our protection, so that we can live the most fulfilling and satisfying lives.
I want to speak directly to the young people in the house. We are here to champion you. We are here to pray for you, to instruct you, to support you and to encourage you. I respect you. I know you have gifts, talents and abilities and insights that are valuable. I learn from people who are a lot younger than me on a regular basis. I promise I am not targeting you with this message on the truth about sex because trust me, every adult in this room needs this message, but I have a specific message for you.
I know many of your peers think differently about this topic than God does. One of the reasons our culture is in chaos today is because people have lived outside of God’s boundaries for their sexuality. It’s one of the main reasons marriages don’t survive. It’s a main reason that people lose control of their lives, their careers, their finances, and their reputations. It can be responsible for lots of emotional trauma and adds baggage to a person’s life that they wind up carrying into their one-day marriage, adding extra issues to work through and to overcome. Getting this area of your life under control with the Holy Spirit’s help is critical to laying a foundation for a good life later.
In addition, your brain isn’t fully developed until you are about 25 years old. So, to start experimenting with sexual experiences at 14 or 16 or 18 or even into your young adult life, can put you in situations that you aren’t yet equipped mentally and emotionally to navigate. Sexual experiences can change your brain chemistry, particularly in the decision-making area of your brain. Early sexual experiences, before you are mentally and emotionally ready for them, can lead to habitual, addictive behaviors and an inability to connect to people appropriately later in life. God isn’t saying to you, “Never,” when it comes to sex. He’s simply saying, “Not now.”
I know it’s kind of vogue to identify a certain way sexually as a young person. I urge you to identify in ways that aren’t tied to your sexuality first. How about identifying first as a Child of God? How about identifying next as a teenager and enjoy being a teenager and look forward to the time when God can bless sexual expression in your life and until then, put safeguards in place to avoid that which can lead to danger and destruction later.
Now to everyone here, I know this message might have been awkward and intense, and it may have been so because you find yourself caught up in sexual sin. You are having an affair. You are taking a relationship too far in the physical realm. You are viewing inappropriate things because they are sexually stimulating. You are compromising in some way because you feel the need to keep someone in your life. You are fantasizing about being with people sexually. You are experimenting outside of a one-man/one-woman relationship. You are contemplating a sexual encounter with someone that isn’t God-approved. You can’t stop the sexual thoughts that play on repeat, and you want them to be gone.
You don’t have to be dominated by lust. It is a false kind of intimacy. Lust is the worship of self. Lust is spiritual rebellion. Lust leads to a rejection of God as pleasure becomes ultimate. If your desire isn’t for holiness or to grow your relationship with God, but it is focused on satisfying your flesh in an unholy way, you are in spiritual trouble.
I want you to know God loves you, and there is hope for you. You can be delivered from strongholds, and you can be forgiven for any and every sin. You can have a reset in your life. Christ died to pay for the penalty of your sin and to break its power in your life. To receive the love and transformation God offers, you have to be honest.
Psalm 145:18 says, “The Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in TRUTH.”
Proverbs 28:13 says, “Whoever conceals their sins does not prosper, but the one who confesses and renounces them finds mercy.”
You must ask God for help. You must confess sin. You must ask to be forgiven, seek to repent, and ask to be changed. You must pursue a relationship with the Holy Spirit, and daily seek to be filled with the power of God. These are the starting points. You might need the help of a counselor or the prayers and accountability of Christian friends, but if you take no action, you will stay on a road that leads to destruction.
The earliest Christian confession is this: “Jesus is Lord.” If you are a Jesus-follower, then all of your life is under His Lordship. Christ wants to be your leader in everything—not just your spirituality, but your sexuality too. He redeemed both and expects to be Lord of both. Don’t keep traveling on a dead-end road. Turn around. Seek the Lord. Get help. You can recover God’s best for your life! That’s the truth about sex.
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